


The Snow Queen

by moonphase9



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Multi, fairytale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 03:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1290193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonphase9/pseuds/moonphase9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fai wants to admit something to his best friend Kurogane. But before Kurogane has a chance to hear what Fai has to say, tragedy hits. Now it's up to Kurogane to go on an epic adventure to find what has been stolen from him and to discover what Fai really means to him. KxF</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Best Friends

It was almost Christmas and the town of Handerson was bustling with good will, excitement and last minute shopping. It was a small provincial town, humble, sensible and welcoming. Based within a small valley surrounded by mountains, it was relatively forgotten and very safe, which was important for the Kingdom they lived in was rife with wicked magic, monsters and trouble.

On this particular day, the sky was full of clouds, pregnant with slowly falling snow, which was slowly blanketing the land in a great, shining white.

Fai Flourite, a pretty fifteen year old boy, watched the tumbling flakes from his bedroom window.

"I shall see Kuro-cutie tomorrow," he was thinking, a lazy smile on his face, "then we will go skating on the lake together, get some warm drinks and then finish back at his house and have a sleep over. I can't wait!"

He looked to his bedside table, where a black and white photograph showed him and Kurogane, when they were much younger; Fai looked around five years old and was sitting on a swing, Kurogane, also five but looking much older, was behind Fai and tightly holding the swing still. Neither of the boys were focusing on properly posing for the picture, which was why it was so perfect and why Fai loved it, the picture truly captured the boy's feelings for one another. In the photograph, Fai was looking up a smile brightening his face and puffing out his cheeks, his head looking slightly awkward at the angle but he was undoubtedly very happy, Kurogane was looking down at Fai and though he was not smiling Fai could always see that shinning emotion in his eyes. Kurogane was just as happy looking down at his friends face as Fai was looking up at him.

The picture had been taken in the summer, both boys were wearing t-shirts and shorts, and flowers, specifically thick blooming Star-gazers, all purple and white and pink- could be seen in the background and some were in Fai's hair. The picture was the summation of Fai's childhood; one of sun, warmth, happiness, friendship, loyalty and mutual love.

The photograph had been taken many years ago, but nothing had changed between them. Well not quite 'nothing'.

Fai frowned slightly, the action making his nose wrinkle slightly (it was as if his face couldn't be ugly even if it tried.) He set the photograph down and loped over to his bed, falling heavily and snuggling into his warmth blankets.

"Things are a bit different," his thoughts continued, "I'm a little different. It's not that I don't like Kuro-cutie as much as I used to...it's more like I like him...a little too much."

Maybe it wasn't so weird. After all, everyone fancied their best friend a little bit didn't they? Didn't they? Fai wasn't sure. Since the beginning he and Kurogane had been unusually close. They were both fiercely loyal people and so even though they were vastly different in temperament and behaviour, they had always battled through their differences and learned to not only appreciate the differences between them, but love them.

"Maybe that's it," Fai sat up in his bed, clutching a pillow close over his chest and mouth, "maybe I don't like Kuro-puppy anymore. Maybe I love him now."

He felt a deep heat spread across his face. A sort of fear and excitement bubbled up inside him and he couldn't help but both smile crazily and have his eyes fill with frightened tears.

What would this...feeling...do to their relationship?

Should he say anything?

What if Kuro didn't like him as much as he liked Kuro?

Suddenly he heard his mother calling him for dinner. Bounding down the stairs he smiled at her and sat down obediently ready to start the meal.

She sat opposite him. It was just them two. His father had died when he was ten; it had been a dark time he hardly remembered, and he had only gotten through it thanks to the support of Kurogane for even his mother hadn't been able to help him then, as when he was dealing with the loss of a father, she was dealing with the loss of a husband.

"You are quiet tonight," she commented, popping a meatball into her mouth.

"I was thinking...I was thinking about when dad passed away, and how Kuro-helper was so awesome in helping me deal," he smiled, a little anxious about the dark subject matter.

But his mother only smiled, "Kurogane has always been a great friend and protector of you. There's nothing he wouldn't do to keep you safe and happy."

Fai nodded and went back to staring into his plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

"Is there something more?" His mother pressed after a moment's silence.

Fai blushed and squirmed in his chair. He didn't like 'difficult' situations which required absolute honesty, in the same manner he hated lying to his mother.

"N-no..." he began awkwardly, "I just...I like Kurogane a lot...I mean...by quite a lot... and sometimes it makes me anxious. I worry that he won't like me in the same way I like him." His face burning heavily he began shovelling food in his mouth. He was surprised to hear his mother chuckle. He felt her hand gently cupping his own. He looked up to see her leaning over and looking straight at him with a smile so warm and accepting that it almost brought tears to his eyes. "I'm sure Kurogane loves you very much," she said, the word love making Fai feel very warm and a little light headed, "and I'm sure he has for a long time. Just wait until you are ready and when you are, tell him how you feel. Kurogane will never stop being your friend, never forget that."

Fai nodded and smiled. Taking in a deep breath he began to change the subject to more mundane things. Though neither bought up Kurogane again, Fai felt the situation pressing on the back of his mind. His mother was correct; even if Kurogane did not love him he would never stop being his friend. But, considering how Kurogane behaved, Fai had a pretty big chance that the tall dark one felt for Fai exactly the same that Fai felt for him.

The next morning, before Fai was even up, Kurogane was down at the lake, sorting out their skates and then buying two steaming hot drinks ready for when Fai arrived. He got for himself a dark black coffee, no sugar, where for Fai he ordered a hot chocolate with marshmallows on top which, by the time Fai arrived, would have melted into a sugary goo which Fai adored. Kurogane thought the concoction looked disgusting and like it would rot anyone's teeth out minutes after consuming, but it's what Fai liked so it's what Fai was getting.

The snow was still gently falling. He smiled. Fai would be gadding about, kicking the snow and giggling like a girl right about now.

At that instance, Fai's laugh rang out. Kurogane opened his blood-red eyes to see the blond haired fool running over to where he was, a bunch of excitable children from his street running and screeching beside him.

Kurogane stood up and handed Fai his drink without saying a word.

"Wow!" Cried Fai after taking one sip, he smiled up at Kurogane, an impressive chocolate moustache already present on his upper lip, "thank you so much! This is yummy. Have you had the same?"

"Coffee," Kurogane replied making Fai splutter in horror.

They spent the better half of an hour ice skating. Fai was amazing at it, a natural, as the saying went. He moved like a fairy, lightly and quickly, spinning and gliding, his every movement like part of an intricate dance.

Kurogane kept falling over. He was heavy and actually very agile due to years of martial arts training, but for some reason Kurogane had never been very good on ice.

He got painfully to his feet, after falling over for the sixth time, and Fai slid over to him.

"Are you ok Kuro-clumsy?" He wrapped an arm around the taller youth, "do you want to hold my hand as we go around?"

"Don't be stupid!" yelled Kurogane, brushing off Fai's arm. Fai lit up in a fake smile. "I'm fine, just grumpy from falling over," Kurogane continued at a normal pitch, watching as Fai's fake smile melted into a natural one. Kurogane sighed. The 'fake smiles' had begun after Fai's father died. The boy had kept pretending that he was fine, but Kurogane had always known better. Eventually he had gotten the truth out of Fai and in doing so helped him get over his father's death. But still, every now and then the fake smile would return and it would make Kurogane nervous that Fai was returning to his shell.

"I only go skating because you love it," he said with mock self righteousness, he let Fai see one of his rare smiles, "you should buy me a drink to make up for it."

"Sure," Fai clapped his hands and bounded away, kicking up snow and bits of ice behind him.

Kurogane sighed and pulled off his skates, revelling in feeling his feet going back into his warm and comfortable boots. He walked over to one of the benches and watched the various squalling children and teenagers skating and falling into one another on the frozen lake.

"HERE YOU GO!" cheered a voice moments later.

A tall glass of hot chocolate, complete with a tower of whipped cream, with chocolate sprinkles and an iced cherry on top pushed itself into his face.

He fell back and Fai laughed.

"What are you doing getting me this crap?" Kurogane complained loudly.

Fai sat next to him on the bench and gave him a look that was almost coy. "I thought we could share."

Kurogane ignored how warm he was suddenly feeling, or how his skin felt like it was tingling with a light electricity, and instead sat next to his best friend with a look that said, 'fine, but I am not happy with this."

Fai scooped out a piece of cream with a ridiculously long spoon and held it to Kurogane's mouth. Reluctantly the boy opened it and in went the cream. Then, using the same spoon, Fai gave himself a scoop of fluffy white stuff.

"This is nice," sighed Fai, "I love all the time we spend together."

"We're always together," Kurogane couldn't help but reply brusquely, even though he was secretly very flattered by Fai's declaration.

"I know we are," Fai grinned harder, closing his blue eyes temporarily, "I guess that means I love my life in general. Here, as thank you, you can have the bit of cream with the cherry on top."

"I don't want it."

"It's a gift."

"But you love it more, so I want you to have it," there was a brief pause, "please."

Fai blushed and popped it into his mouth. As he chewed slowly he said, "I kind of lied..."

"What about?"

"Well...I have a drink for you." Fai handed Kurogane a tall cup of coffee and laughed outright at Kurogane's furious face.

"Why didn't you just give me this straight away?"

"I wanted to share something with you, other than the memory of skating."

"You're ridiculous," muttered Kurogane, sipping his coffee, "great now it's lukewarm..."

"I'll go get you a new one," answered Fai in a dreamy, strange manner that made Kurogane look at him in confusion.

Fai was looking off into the distance, his eye trained on to something that Kurogane could not see. The warm, intimate moment they had been sharing seemed to have suddenly disappeared. Fai got up to leave so Kurogane simply responded, "oh, ok, thanks..."

Kurogane sat alone for a little while. It was cold without Fai's body heat next to him. A few of the children began to go home. His coffee was cold and forming ice beside him when he finally stood up.

Fai was taking too long.

Trying to ignore the panic in his gut, he walked over to the Hot Drinks stand.

"Have you seen Fai?" He asked the burly man behind the counter.

"The skinny blond kid? Chi's boy?" The man confirmed, making Kurogane nod. "No, haven't seen him since he bought that hot chocolate and coffee. That was about forty-five minutes ago."

Kurogane began to run, asking everyone who he bumped into if they had seen Fai.

No one had.

Kurogane ran to the area he had seen Fai staring at.

There was nothing there but snow.

"Fai!" He screamed out, hearing his baritone reverberating up to the mountains, "FAI!"

But no one answered.

Fai was gone.


	2. The Path Through The Mountains

It was only four thirty, but it was so dark the street lamps had been turned on and it was getting harder and harder for Kurogane to continue looking for Fai. Kurogane was getting desperate.

"Fai!" He screamed running down the emptying streets, "Fai! Excuse me Sir, have you seen Fai?" He grabbed at a passerby who shook his head, alarmed and not understanding the irate teen.

"Dammit!" Kurogane leaned against a wall breathing heavily and receiving some odd looks from people on the street.

He felt his eyes prickle and a headache was forming. Where was Fai? Kurogane knew his friend wouldn't just run off and leave him there like that

Feeling increasingly at a loss, Kurogane ran to Fai's home.

Chi opened her door quickly, frightened by the vicious banging lain upon it.

"Kurogane?" she cried on opening it and seeing the teen. "Where is Fai?"

"I don't know! I thought he might be here."

"Come in, come in and tell me everything."

Kurogane did as he was told. After he told Chi, she called the police. Being a sleepy little town, there was only one police station and the only officer who worked full time was the sergeant. The small police force were concerned and set out a search squad, but Kurogane knew that being only a few people, they would not cover much land.

Fai was missing all night.

Kurogane lay in bed tossing and turning. Had someone taken Fai? But why? Their community was small and everyone knew everyone else, if not by name then at least by sight. There was no danger in their little town.

Kurogane got up and dressed, unable to sleep while his best friend was out somewhere in the cold, maybe injured and unconscious.

Kurogane looked all night. He walked out of the village and called all around their wilderness, but Fai was not found.

When the pale sun finally peeked over the horizon bathing the valley in light, Kurogane was sitting alone and freezing in the snow, tear tracts on his face.

His was exhausted and cold and frightened.

"Fai is gone," he whispered, "Fai is gone!"

He watched the sun as it peeped through the mountains and suddenly a thought occurred to him; what of Fai had been taken beyond the mountains? What if, in the first time of the town's history, the safety of the village had been compromised?

Kurogane stood, feeling stronger, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

No one could walk through the mountains, it was too dangerous.

They would need a sled, and a sled would be noticed or at least leave marks. Kurogane looked around, trying to spot a weakness in the mountains and that's when he saw it.

To the east, as the sun rose slowly, a stream of light ran across the clear snow, its track not hindered by any rock of mountain piece.

"There is a path," he thought staring at the unbroken stream of light, "it is small and slim and in our safety we have become idle and not noticed it. Maybe the little path has been slowly growing more over the years as the weather has eroded away at the rocks. If anyone was going to enter, or leave, with relative ease, that would be the way."

Without thinking of food or clothing, only of Fai, Kurogane ran to the stream of light of the east.

His chest rattled from being out all night, and his body hurt, but he would not let that slow him down. When he arrived at the stream of light he stepped into it; the warmth of the sun was weak but definitely there much like his feeling of hope. Getting down on one knee he brushed away at the new, soft snow that had fallen through his night of fear and anguish. Sure enough, underneath the fresh layer old snow had hardened, and within that hardened snow were the tell-tale tracks of a sled, one track going in, and another to show that it also must have left.

Someone had snuck into their valley, and it could not be coincidence that now Fai was missing. Then something confirmed his fears, in the distance, Kurogane saw something glinting in the sunlight. Running towards it, he saw that it was a piece of gold caught onto the rocks at the base of the first great mountain, or rather not a piece of gold, but a lock of golden hair. As he plucked it from its trap he pulled off his gloves and felt it with his fingers before bringing it to his nose; it was soft and fine and smelt vaguely of primrose. He had felt that texture and taken in that scent many times over the years when he had Fai sitting in his lap and brushing his head against Kurogane's face. It was Fai's hair.

Kurogane pocketed the hair and with a brief look back at the village, began to follow the direction of the sled tracks.

As he walked into the shadow of the mountain he felt a sense of dread. Never before had he left the confines of his valley, but Fai was more important than his safety.

Inside the mountains was very dark. The snow was much harder and ice was everywhere. Where the snow in his town was pretty and gentle, this ice and snow seemed deadly and sneaking and wicked. Even worse was the fact that while his path was lit by the soft sun, it was still very tight and extremely claustrophobic.

Gulping, Kurogane turned to his side and began to carefully ease his way through it, careful die to the ice on the ground and the harsh pointed rocks that where all about him. All it would take was one false step, one little slip, and he would be dead and likely, no one would ever find him. Even worse would be that Fai would then be all alone.

He frowned in determination and pressed on. He would make it for Fai.

Kurogane thought about Fai during that dark time, he remembered Fai's face, how slim Fai felt in his arms, how he could feel the boy's bones. It was a bit annoying at times and Kurogane would gripe and say that he needed to gain weight. Of course, Fai would always laugh in response and call him some stupid nickname, distorting his noble name into something cute and cuddly, suited only for a little girl or teddy bear or a fluffy pet.

"I feel like I'm his pet," he thought, "like a faithful dog perhaps."

A sudden wind blew through the mountain, making him gasp in shock and shiver terribly. The mountains seemed to trap the wind within them, every gust was cold and hard and painful, picking up bits of ice and dust and blowing it harshly into his face and eyes.

"I can get through this, and I will get through this! I just need to keep following the sun." He looked down and saw the sled tracks. He wondered at it. How did the sled get through? Surely it was too tight? Just walking through the mountains was making him feel ill, as if it were difficult to breath. It was so dark he could barely see and the ground was very dangerous. Surely some kind of magic had to be involved in getting the sled in and out. But of course that raised the question of why. Why would someone go through all the effort of sneaking into their unknown valley and stealing away a beautiful and talented, but relatively ordinary boy?

"Something is going on here," he thought, "but as long as Fai is safe and I get him home, everything else can go to hell."

Kurogane trudged through the snow, squeezing himself through tight corners, for two hours, before he finally made it to the other side.

The sun was high in the sky now; it was noon. He had been travelling since the night before, and after his terrible time in the mountains, he collapsed onto the snow, almost weeping, but not quite, because Kurogane never cried.

He stood breathing for a few moments. The sun was out and the snow was gone, but he knew that it wouldn't be long until it returned. So with a heavy sigh he ignored his screaming bones and red hot muscles and continued to walk, pressing Fai's image into his mind.

He was doing this for Fai.

And Fai was worth it and so much more.

The landscape was completely white, so much so that he actually felt at times that he was going blind. So he focused his gaze on the horizon, where deep blue met the stark whiteness. The unreachable horizon became his goal, the thing his weary mind singled all its concentration on. The sled marks were very faint, the previous snow having almost wiped them out. They would no doubt vanish completely should the snow return again. He had to press on, he had to follow now, before it was too late. The kidnappers had hours, possibly at least a day ahead of him. He was a single man walking, they had a sled. He would have to keep going if he wanted any chance of catching up with them.

His breath was raspy and his lungs were burning. He kept coughing. His ears ached terribly, even though they were wrapped up in his hat and the hood of his large coat, and sound seemed strange, almost as if his ears were clogged up with water. As he walked he could feel that he was swaying slightly, through exhaustion and the bullying wind which whipped him about mercilessly as it did the flakes of snow on the ground. The weather was so cold, he felt like he was being bitten all over, nipped by some malicious force or atmosphere from which he couldn't escape.

It was then that the sun vanished, covered by a thick white cloud that had sneakily taken over the entire expanse of the sky, making the sky and the ground a uniform white.

Kurogane closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to be horrified or frightened or overcome by misery.

And then the snow began to fall.

There were no more sled tracks thanks to it, so he had no clue as to whether he was going in the correct direction or not. However, he couldn't go back, not now, not without Fai.

"If I have to," his exhausted but defiant thoughts bit out, "if I have to, I will walk to the ends of the earth, turn around come back to the foot of the mountains outside my valley, and walk again in a new direction. If I am walking till I die, then that's what I'll do. I will not let someone take away Fai. I will not. If there is no Fai..." he blinked, his eyes arid and sore, "then my life is over anyway."

Pulling his scarf over his mouth and nose, he could feel the material becoming wet, both from his breath and from the snow. In irritation he pulled the scarf away, sucking in deeply from the pain of the cold slicing at his jaw and pouring down his mouth and up into his nose.

He had forgotten in his content life with his best friend and sisters back home, that the cold can hurt.

He was walking blind now. The snow and the uniform white was affecting his sense of space and time. He felt like he couldn't see. He raised one of his hands to look at his dark blue glove, to give himself the feeling that he was real, he wasn't just an entity feeling agony and solitude, that he was simply a man lost in a snow storm. Kurogane felt his leaden arm being lifted to his face. With the heavy snow fall, he could barely see it.

"Oh goddess," he thought, "am I really going blind? This will make looking for Fai harder! And if I do find him, would he want to be friends with me? I'm nothing but a blind man, he would feel indebted to me...he will feel guilty..." A small part of him knew the panicked thoughts were nonsense, that of course Fai would love him no matter what, but that logical side of him was too deeply buried in his panic and misery.

The sides of his vision began to go black, the whiteness slowly dimming.

Somewhere he realised that he was dying, and though he screamed and cursed himself for not finding his best friend, for failing once again, another part of him was secretly relieved when the world tilted sideways and he collapsed into the snow.

Kurogane was dead.


	3. Watanuki

He could hear birds singing and bees humming.

He could smell flowers and bacon being fried.

Blood red eyes opened and then blinked in confusion.

A tall, dark head, handsome young man sat up in bed and looked around in confusion.

Where was he? Who was he?

He looked out of the window which was next to his bed. There was a beautiful garden out back. Flowers were in full bloom everywhere. He recognised that this was summer.

There was a polite knock on his door, which made him fall into bed once more, yelping slightly from the pain. Just as the door opened, the man was looking down on himself to see, with some surprise that he was covered in bandages.

"Hey, sleepy head!"

The red-eyed man looked up to see a pretty, blue eyed, black haired boy smiling down on him. In his hands he was holding a tray which had a tea set and a large, fried breakfast balanced on the top of it.

"I bought you breakfast," the man continued, setting the tray down on top of a chest of drawers, before sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at the red-eyed boy. "You seem the type that would like big meal with lots of meat. How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Who are you?" grasped the red-eyed man, his voice so sore that he bought his hand up to massage his throat. The blue eyed boy poured out a cup of tea, scooped in a teaspoon honey, and handed it to the red-eyed man who received it gratefully.

"I found you out in the wilderness. My name is Watanuki."

"Who am I?"

"I don't know. If you like, I could name you."

"Y-yes...please, I would prefer a name of some kind." The red-eyed man felt ashamed to hear the slight sounds of fear in his voice, and, while blushing, tried to sit up further in the bed so that he at least wouldn't look pathetic.

Watanuki put one of his long fingers to his chin and tapped it as his eyes raised to the ceiling and he though momentarily. "Hmm...well how about 'Doumeki'? It's a favourite of mine."

He smiled warmly.

The red-eyed man...Doumeki, narrowed his eyes slightly. There was something off about the blue eyed man, about this Watanuki. Doumeki couldn't help feeling like his was being duped somehow.

But then, Watanuki did not seem threatening or even malicious, and Doumeki did not know what else to do but to go along with the strange young man.

"Here," said Watanuki, interrupting his thoughts, "eat your breakfast. You are very weak and will need to rest for many days. But don't worry I'll look after you."

"Why are you helping me so much?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Watanuki suddenly looked sad and remote; "after all," he left the bed and headed to the bedroom door so that his face was turned away from Doumeki, "that's what good people do isn't it? They watch over others, they make sure other people are alright." He opened the door and turned to face Doumeki a fake, yet oddly familiar, smile plastered on his slim face, "they make each other's dreams come true."

The door shut and Doumeki sat alone.

Ignoring the breakfast and his aching stomach momentarily- evidently Watanuki was wrong, Doumeki wasn't overly fond of eating a lot of food- he eased himself out of bed and walked over to where a small round mirror hung off the wall.

He took it down, got into bed and stared at himself. He was muscular, with dark skin, deep red eyes and short, jet black hair that mostly stood up in spikes (a few errant ones fell down into his face.)

He didn't recognise himself at all.

'But I am not Doumeki, I am someone else I am certain,' he mused. 'Something strange is going on here...'

His stomach growled again, so he took the tray of food and began eating voraciously. It was as if he hadn't eaten in months; his stomach kept clenching and he almost whimpered in relief as the food began to hit his stomach. He hadn't realised how hungry he had been.

As soon as he bit into his bacon and egg toasted sandwich he groaned happily. The food was delicious! His throat was still very sore so he had to keep having a gulp of honeyed tea between in bite, but it was worth it. His poor, starved belly was finally filled. Doumeki even felt much happier. He lent back in his bed and sighed contentedly, pushing open a window to allow the sun, flowery smells and birdsong enter into his room.

He fell into sleep, a blissful look on his face.

In his dream he could hear the rough howling of wind. It was vicious and battering against his body. He shuddered, cold and miserable, laying on the ground, his limbs so exhausted and frozen that he could not move.

'No!' he whimpered, 'no! What is this? Please, I don't want to be here, please, please...'

"Doumeki..."

' I cannot die...I cannot...I need...I need to...'

"Doumeki!"

'Help...him...help... I have to...'

DOUMEKI!"

Doumeki gasped and sat up in bed, sweat pouring from his brow. Watanuki sat at the end of his bed, watching calmly.

"You are alright now," he said, his voice calm and a little distant. "You are safe, in my home."

"How did you find me?" he demanded, knowing he sounded rude but not caring, "and where?"

"Out, beyond here, is a place of snow, and ice, and suffering. I took you away from there. You were lying in the snow, preparing for death."

"How did you know I was there, and how is this place not touched by the cold?" He shivered once more, remembering the biting frost and his deep wretchedness in its icy embrace.

"Magic," answered Watanuki, "I'm a witch. I keep this place as my own little home. I heard your melancholy, so I searched you out and bought you here." He smiled a very soft, sad smile which almost broke Doumeki's heart just to see it, "I wanted someone to be here with me. I'm glad I found you." Watanuki leant forward and touched Doumeki's knee from under the duvet, "I'm glad I'm not alone."

Something about Watanuki, the easily broken bravado, the kindness, his slim and pale body, his vulnerability, made Doumeki feel that he was familiar somehow, and that he had to protect this man at all costs. So he stretched out his hand and placed it on top of Watanuki, who raised surprised blue eyes to red ones. Doumeki felt his heart jump slightly at the pale blues. They affected him the most, for some reason.

"I'm here, you're not alone," he said roughly, pressing down on Watanuki as if to make sure he was real.

The two men began to spend more and more time together and Doumeki found himself relaxing, despite his instincts warning against it; their tirades slowed down and eventually died away as he enjoyed fine food, delicious drinks and best of all, the warmth and light the beautiful sun bore down through his window, warming his heart and making him dozy and restful. His injuries healed and all his memories of the ice and misery faded away into nothingness. Soon, all he knew was the little cottage of Summer and Watanuki's sad eyes and disarming smile.

"I think you should be able to walk outside today," smiled Watanuki.

They were both in Doumeki's bedroom eating a hearty breakfast of French toast, honeyed dried fruits, mixed seeds and copious amounts of tea.

Doumeki smiled back; he noticed that the pale eyed man, whilst still mysterious and a little hidden, seemed much happier than before. Doumeki had learned not to query Watanuki's shifty behaviour, but rather embraced it. For all his faults, Watanuki was a wonderful man who fed him well and had taken good care of him. Doumeki felt that he not only owed Watanuki, but that he also greatly liked being in his company, therefore he took all of Watanuki's secretive nature on and simply accepted the man for who he was. Plus, one day, maybe Watanuki would fully open up to him?

"I would like that," he responded, "I hate being cooped up all day and doing nothing. If it wasn't for your company I would have gone mad long ago."

Watanuki smiled softly and without feeling before turning away.

"I would like to see the gardens," Doumeki pushed, hoping to cheer up his host again, "I love the summer; it reminds me of..." his eyes glazed over slightly - Watanuki watched him carefully- until he shook his head and smiled in a confused manner. "Well...it reminds me of happy things I think, though it's more a feeling than anything."

Watanuki let out another irritatingly fake smile and said in his most sombre tone yet, "yes, you should go outside. Go and see the flowers that I made with my magic."

Outside was glorious. The sun was a golden orb, burning brightly in the azalea sky, a beacon of unadulterated happiness and simplicity.

Watanuki had been with him at first, but had given Doumeki excuses of how he wanted to return to the house in order to prepare a meal for lunch, and left him alone. Truly, Doumeki realised that whatever dark shadow was hunting Watanuki, it even was able to follow him out into the splendid garden, unable to be dissipated by the sun or pushed out by the array of beautiful flowers.

Doumeki knew instinctively that he wasn't really a 'flower' man. If the garden was his it would have grown nothing but vegetables and maybe a few fruit trees. Yet, for some reason, he found himself ignoring the blazing, simple yet beautiful sky in favour of analysing the complicated world of various blooms bursting forth with dizzying amounts of colour and a hundred different shapes. There were the tall, proud Blue-Bells, over there the humble yellow and red Primroses, the kingly sunflowers stood against the walls of the cottage, there were even many different types of roses, ranging from the purest white, melting down through the pinks into the deepest scarlet. But there was something missing, something was still wrong. He marched around the garden, his eyes focused on the flowers. What was it, what was he looking for? The one flower he truly loved, the one that he connected to...to feelings of happiness and affection and friendship and...and something more...

"The Star-Gazers," he muttered, "there are no Star-Gazers in this garden."

For some reason, the realisation of this broke his heart and he found himself pausing in his march before sinking to sit on the yellow pathway.

"I love Star-Gazers, there the only flowers I like...but why? I don't care about flowers and stupid things like that!" Even as he spoke he could hear in the back of his mind childish, boyish laughter. He closed his scarlet eyes and remembered summer, not this magical kind, but the real summer, where you could hear the buzzing of insect-life, feel the gentle breeze lazily brushing against your heated skin. He remembered the creaky sound of a rope tied to a tree branch swinging softly. He remembered a swing and pushing someone on it. He remembered golden hair, with a large Star-Gazer tied into the yellow locks. The blond child looks around at him. Hair like the sun; eyes like the summer sky.

Kurogane's eyes snapped open, or the first time since arriving in Watanuki's care they were clear and full of knowledge, "Fai!"


	4. Who is Doumeki?

"Did you know all along who I truly am?"

Watanuki looked over to the hulking red-eyed man who stood in the doorway."Oh, so you've recovered your memory," he stated flatly.

"Answer the question!"

"So rude," tutted Watanuki, "not like Doumeki. The real one. Well, Doumeki was rude, he always ate too much and would sneak my food away to guzzle like a monster before it was ready but he only did it because he loved me and so loved everything I created by default. I understand that now." He turned to face Kurogane, "I did not know who you really were. I really did take you in from near death, you must understand that. But...but I have strong magic in this place. It is designed to make you forget. But I cannot. You did, and I thought it was perhaps a kindness to let you forget. Something terrible must have driven you into the blizzard. Were you abandoned by friends?"

"No, but thanks to you I have inadvertently abandoned one of mine."

"Oh," Watanuki had the grace to blush his sad blue eyes turning a shade darker, "I am sorry then."

"I need to leave immediately," said Kurogane gritting his teeth. His urge to find Fai was over-powering, but so was innate goodness. "But I don't want to leave you alone." He continued, making Watanuki look up at him, "who is Doumeki?"

"My best friend," smiled Watanuki, "he is loyal and kind and when I got my powers, which on one hand are wonderful but on the other a curse, he decided to stand by me no matter what. But I was unkind to him, and spiteful, and one day it all went too far and I hurt him too much." Watanuki paused, "or at least, I think that's what I must have done because one day he left and he just... he never came back."

"Why didn't you search for him?"

"I can only go so far from this house. If I go any further terrible things happen. Magic and nature will go un-ruled and will fall awry. I am a prisoner here, a prisoner to my own magic. I cannot leave. Do you see what I mean by the magic being a curse?" He sat down heavily at the kitchen table, "but even if I could leave this place, what good is it to chase after someone who was always too good for you anyway? My only tragedy is that Doumeki realised he was too good for me," Watanuki looked away, "I hope he has a good person who loves him, perhaps a pretty, fair wife, someone who doesn't even look like me so that she can never remind him of his time here."

There was some silence now. Kurogane thought of Fai; what if he had met some amazing beautiful person and had, in that moment, forgotten all about him? Kurogane knew that while he was handsome in a masculine manner, he wasn't pretty or cute or sweet or any of those things that Fai admired in nature and people. Kurogane wasn't the kind of guy that attracted a lot of people-that was Fai. So what if Fai had met someone like himself, someone slender and cute with large eyes and fair skin?

"But Fai wouldn't just leave everyone behind," he decided, "that's just not who he is. Even if he is flighty and silly I don't think he'd run off like that. And if he has, then I'm going to find him just so I can kick his skinny ass for abandoning me."

"I am travelling to find my own best friend." He said to the forlorn Watanuki, finally breaking the silence. "He too disappeared one day, but I do not believe he has left me. I have too much faith for that." Watanuki gave a sad smile at that. "But while I am searching I shall look out for your Doumeki, so that, when I return this way, I can at least give you peace of mind."

"Thank you," said Watanuki, "that is too kind. I owe you much already. I have a gift for you, in an attempt to rectify my error of keeping you here. There is a woman who lives in a tower not too far from here. From her tower she can see all around, so she is the best person to ask if you are trying to find someone who came this way. "

"Thank you, who is this woman?"

"She goes by the tile of The Lady of Shallot."

xxXXxx

With an array of new warm clothes courtesy of Watanuki the Mage, Kurogane continued his search for Fai. Using the sun for guidance, he was travelling east searching for a place called Shallot. The sun blazed now, a massive white orb, warming the air. A few blades of grass and some gorse began to show between the clumps of pure white snow.

Kurogane pulled off his hat and scarf. The mountains of his home became increasingly distant until at long last he couldn't even see them. He mourned their loss, he felt as if he had lost that final link with his home. Still he thought of Fai and tried to hold the beautiful blond's face in his mind, stirring him to carry on.

Soon the snow gave way completely to thick, rich grass and the land became muddy. It was like wild moorland now, with heavy marshes sucking at his boots and slowing his progress. He cursed to himself bitterly, hating the wilderness. It was strange, for even though there was grass and plants and small pools of muddy water, he could not see or hear any animals. He shrugged, he had the feeling he was going to go through many strange lands before he found Fai, the thought of which then made him sigh wearily.

Then he saw it, in the distance was a tall round tower made of brown bricks. It looked extremely run down, with half of the roof smashed in and holes in the wall. It looked like there was only one window, and that was placed far at the top of the tower. There was no door by what he could see.

"Could the Lady live in that?" he wondered, "but why would a lady live in such a place? I was expecting a castle or grand house." He looked around, "but in this desolate land there is nowhere else."

Taking in a deep breath he began to march towards the tower.

Unbeknown to Kurogane, in the tower a young girl sat with long brunette locks arranged in two heavy curls either side of her head. She was surrounded by hundreds of cracked mirrors.

She sat at the window peering out and the handsome figure slowly making his way to her tower.

"A boy!" she gasped leaping up out of her seat and running to one of the mirrors, "show him to me," she demanded.

Immediately a close up of Kurogane was revealed on the glass. "He's not as pretty as the other one," she spoke aloud, "but he isn't too bad. Besides..." she blushed slightly, "I like the slightly more mature type of men."

"That's your problem," said a strange voice from one of the mirrors, "that's how you got yourself in trouble in the first place."

"Hush, hush," sang the girl, sounding anxious, "I shan't do anything naughty. I shall be clever this time."

"He is looking for the Snow Queen and her new pet, you mustn't tell him where they are," cried another high-pitched voice from somewhere in the shadows.

"I won't I won't!" The girl stood up and began to brush off the heaps of dust on her clothes and in her hair, "I shall simply charm him and send him on his way. I will not reveal anything. I'm not as stupid as you all think."

She bent down and looked at the glass showing his determined face, "Maybe I can get him to fall in love with me. He's a hero, I can already tell! If he's hero and falls in love with me," she blushed, "maybe he can be the one to save me. Oh how I want saving!"

"Nothing can save you," snickered the first voice from earlier, "you leave here and you're dead"

"Shut up!" she shrieked, "I shall have my handsome hero! Let me have my fantasies!" She picked up the mirror showing Kurogane and gently stroked his face, almost willing herself to love him already. She placed a kiss where his lips were, "I'll show you all," she whispered, "I shall have him, my fantasy..."


	5. The Lady of Shalott

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS! Mentions of child abuse!May be triggering.

When Kurogane finally arrived at the run-down tower, he was disturbed to find there was no door.

'How does she get in or out?'

He looked up to see a large gaping hole near the top of the tower. "Hello," he called, "hello! Is anyone there? Can you hear me?"

A pretty girl leaned over and looked down. "Ah y-yes," she stammered, her face terribly red, "I can hear you...and...and see you!" she giggled suddenly and ducked away from view.

Kurogane started, "wait! I just," her face appeared again, a blush still present along with an embarrassed smile, "I just need to know if a boy came here, perhaps a few weeks ago? He is skinny, with fair skin, blue eyes and light hair."

"How should I know?" the smile became a grin, her eyes twinkling. She was teasing, like the whole thing was a game. Perhaps it was for her, but not for Kurogane who was sick with worry for Fai.

Still, he swallowed his frustration as she was only a little girl.

"You are the Lady of Shallot I assume?" he called up to her, "You must have seen from that spot in the tower."

She pursed her lips at his harsh voice.

You've made him cross, giggled a voice from earlier.

"Shush!" she hissed, looking behind her, "he's a bit grouchy, but that is foolish of him." She looked back at him and cried, "I'm not at liberty to tell the comings and goings of everyone who passes my tower by. I don't even know who you are. But you are big and gruff and rude. You may be a killer. I don't want to send a killer after the young boy. He was much too pretty to be killed by the likes of you."

Now Kurogane did lose his tenuous hold on his temper. He stomped his foot comically childishly and shouted, "I'm not a murderer! That man you saw is a good friend of mine, and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. He was stolen by someone and I need to get him back!"

The girl squeaked in either fear or anger and disappeared from sight.

"No, no!" stammered Kurogane, he looked around the marsh. There was no way he would find where Fai went alone, there were no tracks, the rain had washed them all away. And speaking of rain, the grey clouds overheard suddenly began to release a misty sort of rain that quickly soaked him. "I'm sorry!" he yelled, "alright, I'm sorry! Please, I won't bother you any more, I will leave you alone as soon as you tell me where Fai went."

Still no response.

Kurogane sank down into a crouch with a shaky sigh. He still felt tired, despite all the rest he must have gotten at Watanuki's. "Maybe she has forgotten. It must have been long ago! I can't believe I wasted all that time at Watanuki's. I'm the worst friend in the world," he sat down on the floor, not caring about the mud and bowed his head. The tears came warm and heavy. Kurogane hated crying and it was something he didn't do that often, but at this point of time he felt so over come with misery and self-loathing he just couldn't help it. To think the rescue of Fai depended on the words of a strange and silly little girl! "It's my fault," he thought bitterly, "it's my fault for succumbing to the snow and then to Watanuki's magic. What a fool I am. A useless fool! Even now all I can do is cry."

That was when he decided to stand, despite the cold in his body making his bones feel creaky and tired, and wiped his eyes, which was pointless due to the smattering rain going against his face and wetting it anyway.

He looked at the tower. The mortar was coming away from the brick work, making the surface uneven. If she wouldn't talk to him by choice, the he would make her! He began to climb up the tower, the bricks rough on his skin, making them chalky and sore with blisters and cuts.

The rain seemed to fall down more heavily, the drops pouring into his eyes and slowing his progress. When he was about halfway up, he reached out for one jutted out brick, but it crumbled under his heavy, dark hand. Kurogane cried out as he slipped down slightly, luckily his left hand which was securely fastened onto another brick kept him from crashing to the earth. Having fallen slightly, he was now looking down. He was so high up that if he had have fallen, he would have broken his back at best, or immediately died at worst.

His heart pounded strongly against his chest from the fright and he could feel a pressure of stress building up behind his eyes and turning into a monstrous headache. Fresh cuts where on his right hand which had slipped. Thin red streams of blood made their journey down the hand onto the arm and spattered into his face along with the rain. His vision swam, but he kept going.

'No point feeling sorry for myself,' he chastised, "I need to get up there!'

The rain was relentless, beating down on his face. His body screamed out in pain, his bones and muscles burning. He closed his eyes for a moment and pictured Fai. It was summer and they were in the garden together. Fai was so happy, so happy. His eyes were bright and blue like the summer sky and his hair glistened. He was too good for the likes of Kurogane really. There was nothing attractive about Kurogane. He was big and gruff and rude and unsociable.

'But I can save him,' he thought, 'I must save him.' He opened his red eyes and continued on. His nails bit into the mortar. He could feel hands, especially his fingers, were bleeding profusely. They were stinging.

All he wanted to do was let go. He wanted to fall to his death because at least then it would be over. But, of course, he couldn't do that Fai. Keeping the boy's image in his mind he pushed past his own feelings of inadequacy and his own pain. His love for Fai was bigger and stronger than all of that. His love for the boy was worth more than himself. He would sacrifice himself for Fai if he had to, he didn't care, he just wanted Fai safe and happy again.

Just to have Fai safe, even if he never saw him again, that would be worth him suffering and dying for over a thousand millennia.

After what felt like a lifetime, Kurogane finally felt his hand reach inside the tower. He had reached the top, where the girl was. He almost cried again as he dragged his weary body up the rough wall and collapsed in her room. He looked around with dull eyes. There were shards of glass and mirrors everywhere.

His head was swimming and his body hurt with exhaustion. He could see the girl, standing in the half shadows, staring at him with wide eyes. Behind her a spider sat in its web. It disturbed him. But the world slid to the side and faded to black.

"Oh no the boy must stay with us. Oh well yes, I suppose he is more man than boy but still- what- ye I see what you mean."

It was with this whispering that Kurogane slowly woke up to. The young girl was by his side, but she was looking off into the corner.

He was lying on a thin pile of mattresses, a blanket put over on top of him.

"A prince for me at long last," the girl was saying happily, "can you believe it! Oh hush," she rolled her eyes, "you shouldn't be so cruel to me. I'm very much in love already yes, thank you."

He opened his eyes fully and sat up. His short was off and his hands were bandaged. She blushed at the sight of him, which was strange as surely she had been the one to remove his top in the first place.

His whole body was screaming just with his sitting up, and his hands were throbbing.

"Be careful," she said, "please, I don't want you injuring yourself anymore." She pressed her hand down on his chest to lower him again, taking in a sharp breath as she did. He watched her pupils blow up suddenly as the rush of sexual excitement flooded her body. She looked away again, as if embarrassed.

Kurogane watched with some surprise, he had never thought himself physically attractive before. But then again, it was quite clear that there was something very wrong with this girl's mental well-bring.

"Thank you," he said, his voice raspy and hard, "for helping me, and I am sorry I insulted you earlier."

She leaned over him seductively, too seductively for one who looked so young, pressing her body against his and toying with his hair. "You're very welcome," she looked into his eyes, "have you come to save me? Are you my handsome prince?"

"I'm not a prince," he answered honestly, "I'm just a normal person."

"That's alright, I'd like to live in a small cottage somewhere, with you as my hardy, hardworking husband. I don't need a castle and silk dresses." She looked at him so desperately he believed her. She just desperately wanted to leave the tower.

"Tell me your story, why are you up here?"

She looked to the side suddenly, as if listening to someone else. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Oh no," she whispered, her voice shaking. She looked back at him, "you cannot be here. I thought...I thought someone coming up would save me...but you can't." She erupted into tears and threw herself to the other-side of the room.

He sat back up. "What's wrong?" he demanded, "tell me! Tell me, maybe I can help you. I can help you climb down from here. You can be carried on my back. I don't mind."

She shook her head, "even if you could handle that exertion, I can never leave this place. I am under a curse."

"Tell me. I know magicians. Maybe they can help. Just tell me first."

A little black spider ambled over to her. She picked it up in her hand and put it to her ear as if she were listening to it. She then nodded and placed the spider back onto the floor. It crawled up onto her lap and sat there, almost like a dog or a cat.

"Long ago, very long ago, I was married. I married a man who was much older than me. I was this age," she motioned to her face. She couldn't have been any older than thirteen. "I loved him, and I thought he loved me. I wasn't interested in boys my age. I wanted a man, and he was a man. He was handsome and had a kind smile. He was my teacher. He taught me maths and letters and all the ruminations of the Great Philosophers. He told me that I was mature, more mature than the other boys and girls. He said that I was clever and ahead of everyone." A beat before the whisper, "he said he loved me.

"We began a relationship. He taught me new things. Things with my body. Things that made me blush. I didn't...I didn't want to do everything. But he would laugh and say that I was being a child. I didn't want him to see me that way. I didn't want to be a child." She brushed small delicate hands over her face, "I feel ashamed sometimes, when I remember, when she makes me remember." She looked up into the corner above Kurogane's head. He turned around to see another spider above his head. He didn't like it. It was white with long translucent legs. It made him think of death. These spiders were the things she was talking to.

"Eventually we got married. We had to run away. My parents did not approve. We snuck out in the middle of the night. We went to live in this little cottage. At first everything was fine. I learned to cook and clean. I was a good little housewife. But..but I getting bored. After a couple of years it began to dawn on me that this was my life forever. My husband began to spend more time away from me. It was as if, the older I became, the less interested he became.

"I began to dress seductively for him...but it didn't work. And then he began to get angry a lot. If I didn't do something right he would call me names. He would say how I was a slattern." She blushed heavily again, "he'd say that I was too easy. I began to despise him. Finally, one day, I met a traveller. He told me that I needed to return home, that I was still a child.

"On the evening when I was supposed to sneak out, my husband caught me. He beat the traveller, who ran off. Then he beat me and dragged me to this tower. He said that would never age and that I could never leave here. I tried to climb out, but when I do the magic overpowers me and I end up right back in this room.

"He would come to visit me. We would...do all the things he liked to do. At first it was a battle. I would argue and cry and refuse him, but that only meant I would be beaten. I gave into him, gave him what he wanted, hoped that maybe he would love me again, love me enough to let me go to mommy and daddy, but he never did. I noticed that he was getting older and older. He became less interested in doing things and sometimes just wanted to talk to me, but I never had anything to say. We would just sit together, both feeling sad.

"He gave me all these mirrors. He said they could show me the outside world. I said I wanted to leave, but he just said that he wouldn't let me. Then, one day, he stopped coming all together. Since then I have waited here. I hoped that someone would save me but," she shook her head, tears falling freely, "but only now she," (she gestured at the white spider), "tells me that you cannot release me."

Kurogane listened, a sick feeling inside. "I will help you," he choked out, "I cannot do battle with magic, but my friend Fai is magical. He will help you break free, but first I must find him."

She looked at him, "is there no way you could stay with me?"

Kurogane blanched, "n-no. I'm sorry, ut I must get my friend."

"Please!" she begged, "please, I don't want to be alone anymore!" She ran to him and fell at his side. "I'll do anything you want, I'll be a good girl. Anything, anything you desire I shall do for you."

"Stop! Don't talk that way!" he grasped her hands and lifted her up so that she could look at him, "I can save you. But I need my friend first."

Looking defeated she answered, "he is with the Snow Queen. I think she has him under some sort of spell. They went North."

"North?"

"Yes, to the White Wastelands of the snow bears. You need to go through the golden forest before you reach the Wastelands."

"thank you," he answered, feeling like crying with relief and happiness, "thank you so much." He got up and began to dress.

"You're leaving already!"

"Yes, I am not being cruel. The sooner I leave, the sooner I find Fai and the sooner I can return. I do not want you in the tower too long." He lent down and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You can come and live with us. You can be my little sister. Maybe one day you will fall in love with a boy worthy of you. Keep the hope."

He then walked to the edge of the tower. The rain had stopped now. His hands hurt but they were wrapped in bandages which would hopefully save them from becoming too sore again.

He took one last look at the girl. "What is your name?"

"The Lady of Shallot." She looked dull and sad. The white spider was on her shoulder.

"No I mean your real name."

Bright eyes looked up at him, "Rika...my name was Rika."

"Be strong Rika, be strong, don't listen to that evil thing," he pointed at the white spider, "I will return to you."

She nodded and he began to painful climb back down.

He isn't coming back, whispered the white spider.

"Be quiet, he is," she insisted, "he will save me."

Hahaha! Are you so stupid? Of course he won't. He loves that other boy. He doesn't care for you. Rika leaned forward and wept.

You should just end it all.

Rika looked up. "You are right," she whispered, "I cannot take another rejection."

No! Cried the black spider, no Rika, hold on! We're friends aren't we? Stay for my sake!

She stood at the edge of the tower. She could see Kurogane running in the distance. He was heading to the Golden Forest.

"Even if he does make it to the Wastelands," she said, "he'll never survive the Snow Queen. It's over. I should have accepted this long ago."

She picked up one of the shards of glass, a mirror that she had smashed in one of her old fits of rage, and placed the sharp edge at her chest. It was time for the end.

She pushed the shard into her chest. She let out a gasp. It hurt so badly!

As she fell back out of the tower she could hear the little black spider calling out in horror.

"I'm sorry my friend," she thought as she fell, "I'm sorry."

Her hair turned grey, and she began to grow tall and thin. Her skin began to wither. The tower itself began to tumble, the bricks falling apart and both spiders being caught up in the avalanche of mortar and stone.

The last breath of Rika was released at the same time the spiders were crushed to death, and she died before she even hit the ground. The tower remains tumbled on top of her body.

Not too far away, Kurogane watched in horror. He grit his teeth. Should he have stayed with her? But then, what of Fai?

"Magic is evil," he thought to himself, "it's evil. I won't let it destroy Fai as well. I'm sorry Rika!"

With those parting thoughts, he left the rainy summer and ran straight into the Autumn lands, towards the Golden Forests.


	6. The House of RedLeaf

Kurogane left the land of marshy hills, and all the misery of the poor abused girl Rika, 'The Lady of Shallot,' and made his way towards the golden trees he could see yonder.

The forest was vast and bright. As he entered it he could see an array of creatures had made their home there. Birds flit from tree to tree, crying out their songs. He saw a red-dog-fox scurrying through the undergrowth; the cunning creature giving him on quick look before proceeding into some hole hidden by leaves of auburn and gold.

Leaves fell constantly, yet the trees were all still in full Autumn bloom. The air was dryer now than it had been in Shallot, but colder and crisper. It reminded Kurogane of home a little.

He sighed softly. He just wanted to get Fai and go home, he felt like he had aged so much during this journey.

There was magic in this forest, he could tell. But it wasn't as concentrated as the magic from Watanuki's garden or Rika's tower, here it seemed as light and free and untamed as the very wind.

"I wonder if this makes it more or less dangerous?" he pondered, allowing the tiredness to wash over him once before straightening back up and continuing his journey. As always he had no idea if he was going in the correct direction, the forest was too large for that, but he had long ago decided that he would walk forever if he had to.

Kurogane would never stop searching for Fai.

"Fai would have liked it here," he thought to himself, "he always loved nature and life. He would have been sad at the lack of flowers," (indeed the ground was mostly dry soil, leaves, and a few clumps of hardy, pale grass,) "but he would have appreciated the atmosphere. Wherever you are now Fai, I hope you are not hurt. I hope there is a measure of happiness for you. And if anyone has made you feel pain, I came coming for you and I shall make them suffer tenfold."

Kurogane's bandaged and bloodied hands shook from pain, and his chest ached terribly, but he kept going. The land was mostly flat, so this was the easiest walk he had had in some time.

The bright pale yellow sun was now high in the sapphire sky when he began to hear the beating of drums.

"Alyyy-oooo!" a voice cried out in the distance.

Kurogane could hear the barking of dogs.

"Alllyyy-ooooo! There goes the beast!"

Suddenly a red streak that Kurogane later reasoned was a fox, flew past Kurogane at lightning speed. He stopped walking he was so taken by surprise. In the next moment five or more black dogs with red, salivating tongues leapt over a fallen log, intent on catching the fox.

A couple stopped and looked at him. One let out a howl to its masters while the others barked at him.

Kurogane peered at the dogs. There fur was short and their teeth white and sharp. Their paws were large and their legs long. There were hunting dogs.

"Your masters are rich men," he said observing their collars were gold and encrusted with emerald jewels.

"And what have we here then?"

Kurogane turned to see a grand-looking woman sitting on a large chestnut coloured steed. The horse snorted white mist and pawed at the ground. The dogs went to their Mistress, tails wagging.

The woman wore a long, black riding dress and a tall top-hat. She looked down at Kurogane who suddenly felt quite grubby and dirty.

"I am looking for my friend," he said, his voice not betraying any anxiety he felt, "I have heard that he was taken by someone called the Snow Queen, and that she has taken him to the White Wastelands."

"Land of the Polar Bears," nodded the woman, "your friend is lost to you and you shall not get him back."

He frowned, "I will get him back! But it is no business of yours anyway! Tell me instead, am I going in the correct direction."

"For a beggar boy you certainly do demand an awful lot," she said unfeelingly while the rest of her party, equally glamorous men and women, joined her side. "Return with us to the House of Redleaf," she continued, "and I shall aide you with your journey to the Wastelands."

"I don't have time for that!" cried Kurogane, not wishing to be way-laid again.

"Yes you do," she said, "first of all, time is nothing in these forests. It is always Autumn. It never changes. So your time here will count as naught. Also, if you go about your journey dressed in rags and injured, you shall never make it to the Wastelands. Even if, by power of your determination alone, you did make it, the Snow Queen would annihilate you as soon as she glanced your way. Come with us. Climb upon my steed."

Kurogane grit his teeth. On the one hand, e wanted to get going. Fai was ever becoming a ghost in his mind, a boy he knew long ago rather than a friend he lost but recently.

But, he also knew that his body was failing him. He would need information about this Snow Queen if he was to defeat her.

"Fine," he hissed, feeling angry at himself, before climbing on to the woman's horse and feeling them ride away.

"What is your name?" he asked her as she and her companions rode in relative silence.

"The Lady Tomoyo." She answered, "and what is yours, brave stranger?"

"Kurogane."

A clearing opened up and Kurogane saw a large country estate facing them. The walls were a deep vermillion and blended in seamlessly with their surroundings. Tall trees grew up behind the house making it appear as though the House and the Forest were in unity.

In front of the house was a large, placid lake complete with a red bridge in the middle of it. The horses clattered over the bridge nobly, whilst the dogs gadded about at a slow, unguarded pace.

"This is a very beautiful home you have here," said Kurogane genuinely.

"Yes, my wife and I are very happy here," she answered.

"Wife? Are you not a woman?"

"Yes I am, and so is my wife."

Kurogane said no more but looked forward. He hadn't known women could marry other women. He had only known men to marry women. The idea was strange and new to him, but not repulsive. As they came to the end of the bridge and walked towards the stables he began to quite like the idea; it made sense that anyone could marry anyone regardless of gender. After all, marriage was a unity of love, a promise of fidelity and loyalty. Why would that be reserved to one type of coupling?

"Are there any men here who have married other men?" he asked, climbing down from the horse and wincing a little from the aches around his chest and hands.

"Yes," she smiled, "all very happy too."

Kurogane suddenly thought of Fai, and he suddenly felt a little strange. He shook it off however. If he didn't understand a feeling then there was no point wallowing in it.

With the rest of the Party, Kurogane and Lady Tomoyo went to the front of the house. There, by an open front door stood a vry attractive couple.

One was a girl with emerald green eyes and light brown, almost red, hair.

She embraced Tomoyo and kissed her.

"My love," sighed Tomoyo.

Kurogane found himself looking away. He missed Fai.

He glanced over to the other pretty individual and was surprised to see a look of deep sadness on the boy's face.

He was a young man, with brown hair and deep brown eyes. He glanced over at Kurogane and smiled lightly.

Kurogane had never seen such a sad smile in all his life.

"Kurogane," called the Lady Tomoyo, "this is my wife the Lady Sakura." He turned and nodded slightly at the pretty girl. She smiled softly. "And this young gentleman is the Poet Syaroan," continued Lady Tomoyo now gesturing to the sad boy.

"Let us go inside," said Lady Sakura, her voice as soft as Spring rain, "you are my Lord Kurogane. We will have you washed and dressed before putting a hearty meal inside you."

Kurogane was put into a pearl white bath. His muscles began to relax and he felt more at peace than he had in a long time, even before his enchantment at the Mage Watanuki's cottage. But he could not allow himself to rest, so he washed quickly and sensibly. There was a lot of bruising on his upper body and legs.

Servants fluttered around him like butterflies in a field, paying no attention to his nakedness but instead clucking like mother hens over his injuries and fixing him up. The ointments they placed on his wounds soothed their angry burning, and made the swelling go down. He realised now that he had probably been developing some kind of infection. He was lucky that Tomoyo had found him and insisted on his going with her; he really would have dropped down and likely died before getting to the White Wastelands.

Still he felt guilty about the comforts he was receiving. "Right now, Fai may be cold and frightened, and I'm here getting treated like a Prince!"

"There's no point punishing yourself," said a youthful voice, making Kurogane turn to see young Poet Syaoran standing in the doorway.

"Your friend will not be found faster by your suffering," the boy continued as if he had heard Kurogane's thoughts.

He walked over to the taller boy and began to button up the thick red shirt the servants had put on him. One by one the servants filed out of the room, allowing Syaoran and Kurogane some privacy.

As he dressed Kurogane asked, "how do you know of my friend? Did the Lady Tomoyo tell you?"

"Yes, she says she found you looking lost and bewildered in the woods, talking to out dogs."

"She makes it sound like I'm a mad tramp."

Syaoran smiled a little at that, "well you are, in a way."

Kurogane shrugged in response.

"The servants say your chest is in bad shape. You will get ill as soon as you enter the Wastelands." He glanced up at Kurogane, "are you still determined to go?"

"Are your servants all doctors as well?" bit out Kurogane angrily, "I don't care what they say! I'm going!"

Syaoran smiled more widely, "you love this person, don't you?"

"He's my best friend."

"Come downstairs, we have food for you. You need to eat before you continue on your travels. We are even having a bag set up for you, full of food and other things you'll need."

Syaoran led him down a broad set of grand stairs before showing him into a large dining room. The natural light of the sun shone through the giant bay windows, highlighting the beauty of Tomoyo and Sakura.

Kurogane heard an intake of breath, and saw that Syaoran was staring longingly at Sakura. She blinked and looked at Syaoran. She smiled at him, before looking away. Her eyes were reserved for the beautiful Tomoyo.

Kurogane understood.

He sat down at the table, Syaoran next to him.

"Thank you for everything," he said, looking at Tomoyo but meaning it for everyone. "You have been kind to me. This journey has…" he paused, his mind flashing back to the fear in the mountains, the horror of the snow, the loneliness of Watanuki the Mage and the devastation of Shallot and it's Lady Rika. "This journey has been difficult," he continued at last, "I never knew the world was full of such suffering, My village was always so happy. But I am glad I have met you. You have all helped me see that good does exist. That happiness can happen, for some of us."

In the corner of his eye, he saw Syaoran bow his head slightly, and he felt awful.

"I am not good with words," he said, shrugging, before looking at his food. It was a few sweet meats and lots of autumn fruits and berries.

He began to eat with increasing gusto, not realising how hungry he had been until then.

The Lady Tomoyo glanced at her lover with worried eyes. No one wanted Kurogane to leave, he was clearly unwell, but they knew they would never convince him to stay.

"Everything is this forest is good to eat," said Tomoyo at last, "the mushrooms, the berries, all of it. So you will never go hungry in your time here."

"I do not plan to be here for long," he said, food in his mouth. He knew it was bad manners but he was too hungry.

Tomoyo leaned forward on the table and folded her hands beneath her chin. "Know that the Snow Queen is a dangerous woman. None of us particularly like her."

"Us?"

"The Masters of the Seasons," answered Syaoran as if that explained everything.

"Who are the Masters of the Seasons?"

"Myself and Lady Sakura," answered Tomoyo, "the Lady of Shallott and the Mage."

"They never told me so!"

"The Mage is secretive by nature, so that makes sense. The Lady of Shallott never knew."

Kurogane put down his fork, losing his appetite a little now. The whole thing with Rika made him angry and sad.

"Mourn her," said Sakura suddenly, holding out her hand and taken Kurogane's into her own, "but never pity her. She is better off in death now than she was in life. His magic cannot get her there."

"His magic? You mean the one who bound her in that place and made her his child bride?"

Sakura nodded, "magic loses its hold on us in death."

"I see. Do you know why the Snow Queen stole my friend?"

"Because she wanted to and because she could," answered Tomoyo, distaste in her voice, "only she calls herself 'Queen.' The rest go by Lady or Mage. Her arrogance knows no bounds. She would have the whole world in her icy grip for eternity. I don't know how she will use your friend, but I feel that she will. He will not be hurt by her, not physically, but there is mischief afoot."

Kurogane had heard enough, he leapt to his feet. "Thank you for your generosity, I shall make my way now."

"Hold!" barked Tomoyo, "take one of my steeds with you. Syaoran, show him the one I mean."

The poet nodded and together the men left.

Alone in the room, the Mistresses of Autumn looked at one another.

"Is it wise, sending Kurogane to his fate?" asked Sakura softly.

"Kurogane is the kind of man who decides his own path, and I would say his mind is very set," replied her dark-haired lover, "plus, I have a feeling that by having some faith in him and our dear friends, everything will turn out right in the end."

Sakura smiled, "I'm supposed to be the magical one, but sometimes I believe that there is something of a seer in you my darling."

The women smiled lovingly at one another before finishing their meals.

Outside in the stables Syaoran showed Kurogane the horse Lady Tomoyo had meant. It was very large, large enough to carry a heavy man like Kurogane, and it very beautiful. It's fur was thicker than an ordinary horse's. It was bright white and had a shaggy mane and shaggy hoofs, almost like those of Shetland ponies. It eyes were dark black and intelligent. Kurogane swore there was even a little humour in there, but how could that be?

"This is Mokona," said Syaoran, "the Lady Sakura loves this horse. Mokona is the best steed to ride in the Wastelands, it's where she was born."

Kurogane stroked the Steed's mane. Syaoran shifted a little in the background before blurting out, "may I come with you?"

"Why?" asked Kurogane, caught off guard.

"Because I sympathise with your situation," he said, "and there is nothing left for me here."

Kurogane tightened his lips before saying seriously, "I understand that you have a hopeless love here, but is that worth risking your life? At least your love is happy and contended, and here you are looked after. What can a poet do against a Queen?"

Syaoran frowned, "do not patronise me. I am just a poet and just a boy, but you are only a boy also. I can see your face is young and you're as naïve as me. My love is safe and well, and I thank the Forest Spirits everyday for that, but I live a half life here. Your friend may love you as you love him, and so if I cannot be loved, if I am doomed to a life of loneliness then the least I can do is live voraciously through the love of another. Better yet a love I helped reconcile."

"He is my friend, not my lover," said Kurogane, blushing a little. "But you are correct. Excuse my earlier belligerence, I am a blunt man. Do you know then the way to the Wastelands?"

"I do, but Mokona knows better, so let her walk us there. But one thing that troubles me is that the Snow Queen may be too powerful for us and we do not know why she had your friend. We should get some information first."

"Can not the Ladies of this House tell us?"

"They know no more than what they told you in there."

Kurogane wasn't so sure about that, believing the Masters of the Seasons to being a secretive lot, but said nothing. He did not want to insult a new ally and friend.

"There is a Witch," continued the Poet, getting out his own horse, a smaller black creature with a placid nature, "and she lives on the outskirts of the Golden Forest. It's on the way so we should go to her first."

Kurogane nodded, "very well. We need to get on. Will you bid goodbye to the Ladies?"

"No."

"Are you sure? I left my family without saying goodbye and I regret it."

"No, they will already have known that I wanted to leave with you. Come Kurogane," he mounted his horse, "adventure awaits."

The Ladies Sakura and Tomoyo watched from their bay window as Kurogane and Syaoran rode away in to the depths of the forest.


	7. The Witch

As Kurogane and Syaoran travelled further to the edges of the Golden Forest, the aura around them dampened, the sky darkened, the wind grew colder and the animals began to become increasingly scarce.

"This is the end," said Syaoran at last. They now were at the very edge of the forest. There was a large sea of grey fields ahead of them. Further out, by a boulder, stood the last enchanted tree. It was large and gnarled. It wore a proud crown of rich, golden leaves. It was surely the oldest and most grand tree of all the Golden Forest, despite being so separate from its kin.

"I've heard that it is here that the witch resides," said the boy heavily.

Kurogane's red eyes looked up at the heavens. It was grey and cold. Surely they were re-entering the world of Winter. Being part of a small village centred in the mountains Kurogane was no stranger to winter. He knew it was a cruel mistress, many died in her wake, animal and human and plant alike.

"Then let's go," he said, "for we need strength against this Queen of Snow."

"I've never been this far from home before," said Syaoran. It sounded as though he needed comfort, but Kurogane was only a boy when he left his own village, and he had left without any thought or regret or fears. He supposed he should offer some wise words to the boy, but words were not his forte (they had always belonged to Fai) and so he said nothing, but encouraged Mokona out of the forest and into the Moorland.

Syaoran followed thereafter, feeling a little silly for being so scared and so homesick.

"Everything is so green and grey," he muttered as his horse stepped out of the forest. The atmosphere was wet, and it felt strange and foreign against his skin (though not unpleasant.) The chestnut horse he was riding shook its head a little and looked at the ground- it was used to crisp leaves, never before had it walked on the soft, dewy material of moss and grass.

Kurogane was no stranger to this type of land and after all his travels, nothing surprised him anymore. Mokona too walked with ease, she came from the land of Ice and Snow and so like Kurogane she was a traveller. Her dark eyes were filled with even more knowledge than the boys possessed.

They all moved cautiously up to the golden tree. Underneath the large, heavy boughs, behind the large boulder, lay a glamourous woman upon a silken sheet. She was in robes of blue and white, large swirling patterns decorated upon them. Her robes were so lose that her breasts could almost be seen. Whilst Syaoran blushed and glanced away, Kurogane paid them no mind. He did not care. He just wanted Fai. His single-mindedness of saving his friend was now less frenzied but more focused.

"Are you the witch?" He asked.

"I am," she took a long smoke of her cigarette.

Kurogane climbed off his horse and knelt on one knee in front of her. He looked right at her, hiding nothing.

"My my," she muttered, "what blazing, fiery eyes you have."

"I wish to find my friend. He was stolen by the Snow Queen; for what end I know not. I have been told by the Spirits of Autumn and the good Poet here that you have knowledge that will help me defeat the Queen and deliver my friend."

"I have seen your friend. He was the blank-eyed, golden haired child. She stroked his head as if he were some sort of pet."

Kurogane grit his teeth, "he is not a pet and he is not blank eyed!"

"He is now. Whatever your friend was before he has been changed. It is her way. She likes everything to be uniform. She likes everything to be still and empty. No one can be a friend of what he is now, never mind love him, as you do."

"Is there a way to save him? Perhaps a potion to restore his senses? I will pay any price!"

"There is a way to save him, but it is nothing to do with potions and the like. It is a cure of the heart, the mind and the soul. You will need those things to save him."

"But how?" Kurogane didn't understand at all. He didn't like that the witch was getting all metaphysical and philosophical, when he just wanted to physically and mentally rescue his friend.

She smiled mysteriously, "you will understand when you get there. In the meantime, you shall need something to fight with."

He nodded, feeling a little better; this was safer ground.

"This sword is called Ginyru. I have kept her for many centuries, waiting for you to come and claim her."

Kurogane looked at the sword that she had pulled out of the base of the tree, seemingly with no effort at all and without damaging the tree. It's hilt was black with red threading, It was weaved into a complicated pattern that ended with all the metal strands forming into the head of a dragon. The blade itself was as white and as sharp as a wolf's tooth. It shone with power and Kurogane found himself being drawn to it.

"You must pay a price," said Yuko, moving the sword away from him as he reached out to grab it.

"Didn't you say you had been waiting centuries for me to claim it!" he argued, "it is mine surely!"

"Time is all relative to me," she sneered with a heavy amount of ambivalence. He frowned and noted how strongly she smelt of alcohol. "Everything needs to be paid for. That's how the universe works. Nothing is free."

"Well I already said I would pay whatever I needed to!"

"What I want is what is most precious to you."

He blanked out for a moment before cautiously looking back at Mokona.

"Most precious…well there's the food. No? How about Mokona? No? Then what do you want?!"

"What is most precious," she insisted calmly.

Kurogane stood, feeling frustrated. He hadn't anything of particular value on him, nothing worthy of that sword.

At that moment a cool hand touched his arm. He looked down to see the Poet looking up at him with big brown eyes. What Syaoran said next made Kurogane wonder if he was psychic or if he really was that easy to read.

"Do not think of monetary value Kurogane. Think of what is precious to you. Something you have carried for a long time. Something you love."

Kurogane grimaced slightly. He knew of one thing. But he didn't want to get it out. Firstly there was his feeling of shame. It was embarrassing that he had kept a token of his friend for so long. It spoke of something more than friendship, which while not embarrassing was certainly something he had not previously known about his feelings for Fai. The other reason he didn't want to take it out was the fact that he would have to hand it over. The token was the only thing he had of Fai, and despite all his bravado and determination, Kurogane wasn't sure he was going to defeat the Queen and get her back. n fact he knew that the odds were against him. This token may be the only thing he would ever have o Fai and if he was to die fighting the Queen he had always hoped that he could at least die whilst clutching the token in his hand.

With a quiet sigh, Kurogane reached into his breast pocket and took out a small locket of blond hair. It had been the piece he had found when he had searched through the mountains- the piece of Fai that alerted him to the fact that the boy had been spirited away out of the village via a sleigh.

The witch snatched it out of his hands and gave him a small smile before handing over the sword. It felt right holding the sword in his hands, even if it had cost him the one possession he truly loved. He glanced at the hair, now in the witch's hand, and felt foolish for longing for something like that.

'This just needs to make me more determined to defeat the Queen and get back Fai,' he decided.

Syaoran helped him fasten the blade into his back safely before they both mounted their horses again.

"One last thing" Kurogane asked, keen to get on with finding Fai, "why did the Snow Queen steal Fai?"

The witch stood up, her long pale limbs matched in length by her flowing, jet-black hair. With heavy lidded eyes she gazed at Kurogane before answering, "because, the Snow Queen wishes to be loved."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At fanfic.net no one reviewed any chapters from chapter 5 onwards. This wasn't a very popular story at all. I'd really appreciate any feedback :)


	8. Wolves

The companions travelled across the hazy green Wastelands for a day and a half before the grass on the ground became thinner and paler before eventually being completely replaced by a thick blanket of sparkling white snow. Syaoran gazed in awe at the uniform, dazzling whiteness of the Snow Queen's Kingdom. There were no birds in the pale grey sky, there were no burrowing animals. All was still and empty and cold.

"Never have I seen anything like this" the boy breathed, starting at the sight of his own breath now a small puff of dissipating smoke.

"You have led your entire life within the confines of the Golden Forest," answered Kurogane, squinting his eyes and looking for something, "you've never known winter." He glanced at his young friend, "be wary. Winter is very beautiful, transcendent even, but it's cruel. The animals starve and die. The flowers and plants suffocate under the snow. In my village children died this time of year. It's beautiful but very cruel."

"The Lady Tomoyo called it the Land of the Polar Bears. What are those?"

"I do not know."

"We had bears in the forest," said Syaoran conversationally, "but they were dark brown or black. They were friendly and wise. They were friends. I wonder if we would find allies within these Polar Bears?"

"I somehow doubt it." Kurogane coughed a little, his chest rattling. The Poet looked concerned but said nothing; if he fussed Kurogane would only become angry. "In every land I've been too," continued Kurogane, "the moods of its Masters affected their environment. The Sage's Summer Garden was beautiful, but limited and ultimately false. The Land of Spring was desolate and miserable as was the girl being tortured within it. The Forest of Autumn was a place of dignity and wisdom, as were your fair Ladies. If this land is ruled by one who is cruel and selfish, then I highly doubt the creatures will be any better."

"I wonder how the Snow Queen got that way, especially when the others seem so nice?"

"Only a poet or philosopher would wonder about such a thing. All I care about is saving my friend."

"What shall you do if you succeed in saving him?"

"Take him home of course, back to his mother. Make sure he gets back to his old self."

"Then what?" pushed the boy, "continue the same as before." Kurogane shrugged and said nothing. His chest was hurting and his head felt heavy. He wasn't sure what Syaoran was angling for and felt no patience for it. The boy could just come out and say what it was that he was thinking.

"You will have both changed," the younger insisted, "so much! You have both been through pain. You will not be the same and neither will your relationship. You may even need to start it all over again. It may have transformed into something more. I believe your feelings have."

"You don't know what you're talking about. You never knew us before and you still do not know Fai. We have been friends since early childhood."

"How did you meet?"

"Living in a village I'd caught glimpses of him now and then, but only for a moment. I was engaged with my sisters and parents and hadn't paid much heed to other children, especially ones that were older than myself. But the day we truly met and made friends was during the summer. I think I was around six years old so Fai was about seven or eight. I was walking, where to I do not remember, and I heard weeping. I followed the sound until I saw Fai, standing in a field. He was softly crying. A little black rabbit lay dead on the ground. I wasn't a sentimental child," he shifted and coughed a little, "but something about Fai crying got to me. I walked towards him and hearing my steps, he turned to look at me."

Kurogane paused and gulped, "he was very beautiful. I couldn't believe it. Blonde hair and blue eyes are not rare in my village. If anything I'm the unusual one. But for some reason I felt like I had never seen anything like him before. I continued walking over once my breath had returned and I held his hand. He smiled at me and suddenly everything was so much warmer. I mean, it was warm anyway, it was the height of summer- but in that moment it was something like magic. And that's the thing…we smiled at each other and then looked down. The rabbit was alive and nibbling grass at our feet.

"Ever since that day, Fai and I were close friends and I always believed that there was a magic deep within him. I mentioned it a few times, but he always laughed. The rabbit lived a few more years before eventually succumbing to old age."

"That's a beautiful way of starting a friendship," said Syaoran, "you two were destined for one another. How do you feel about the idea of Fai getting married one day, perhaps to a pretty woman and having children?"

Kurogane shook his head, "I would be there on his wedding day. I'd hug him and congratulate his wife. I'd adore his children and teach them how to defend themselves."

"And if you marry?"

Kurogane tried to imagine himself with a wife, perhaps a pretty dark-haired girl, intelligent as Tomoyo, as sweet as Rika and as kindly as Sakura. He couldn't see it. It didn't fit. If Fai was married he'd just be there for them.

"I don't think I'm cut out for marriage," he at last.

"Would you marry Fai?"

"I would like to be with him forever…" Kurogane muttered, knowing marriage meant more than that. He imagined kissing Fai, making love to him, knowing him more deeply, emotionally, psychologically and physically, more than anyone else. He felt warmth flowing through his body and whilst the feeling was pleasant, he suddenly felt as if the thoughts were somehow obscene. He had no idea how Fai felt, and he didn't want to tart imagining feelings there that weren't true.

"Why do you ask such nonsense!" he bit out angrily.

"Because I think you love Fai, more than a brother. Perhaps before you thought of Fai that way and maybe he felt that way about you but I am not sure. But now…now things are going to be different."

Kurogane coughed before answering, "Fai is a beautiful person. Love is not anything to do with it. I will save him and I have no expectations. Do not thrust your theories onto me Poet."

Syaoran nodded his assent and did not press the matter. It was true that it was possible that Fai did not love Kurogane, and Syaoran did not want to build up his friend's hope only to have it all crash down around him.

Mokona inclined her head and began to walk in a new direction without Kurogane leading her. "Where are you going horse?" he barked.

She looked back at him with amused and too intelligent eyes.

"She's enchanted you know," said Syaoran, "all our creatures are. Autumn is the most magical season, magic is everywhere, it permeates everything. These steeds are magical, such as Golden-Oak here," he tapped his own chestnut horse, "but Mokona even more so than usual. She knows exactly where she is going."

"And yet she is not a creature of Autumn but one of Winter," Kurogane responded dryly, "are you sure Autumn is the most magical season?"

Syaoran shrugged, "it's the one with the wildest magic then, at least."

Mokona continued through the heavy snow, Golden-Oak cautiously following in her footsteps.

As they walked snowflakes began to fall from the sky. They were beautiful, intricate and delicate but they filled Syaoran with foreboding after Kurogane's earlier talk. This Snow Queen should be a fearful adversary indeed. He thought back of his beautiful Sakura sitting under a honey-coloured tree and sighed with longing and sadness. If he survived this Land of Cold what would he do? Where would he go? He glanced up at his dark and silent companion. Would Kurogane still want him around?

They sky turned from pale grey into a deep blackness. There way of lit only by the moon. Up ahead a fortress began to make itself known to them. It was a high building, one that was clear blue.

"Ice," muttered Kurogane before saying more loudly, "do you see that Syaoran? It's a castle of ice. Surely a palace for a Snow Queen!"

"Who goes there?" snarled a deep guttural voice out in the darkness.

Golden-Oak reared slightly in shock, but Mokona stayed still and calm. Out of the darkness four large, white wolves padded towards the men.

"I am Kurogane," the dark man gripped the reins tightly. "And my friend is the Poet Syaoran. We are looking for someone. We come in peace."

"And yet," snarled one of the wolves, "you come with blades and fiery hearts. Our Queen does not like trespassers on her land."

Kurogane noted that more wolves were circling them. He could not see them in the darkness, but he could hear them.

"We will leave this and as soon as possible," said Syaoran in the calm and commanding voice of a natural leader. "But first we seek an audience with your Queen. We are looking for something."

"Everything here belongs to the Queen and she is not one to share," the wolves were drooling now, "food rarely walks into this domain. Since the last of the Snow Horses fled, we have been hungry, forced to feed on the weakest of our own kind and the corpses of starved Polar Bears."

"We have food that we can give you," said Kurogane, feeling for his sword and becoming increasingly anxious. Syaoran's horse Golden-Oak was sweating and panting, desperate to run from the predators but obeying its master's command to stay standing still.

"No, we are not pets. Live bait is what we desire. You were fools to come here!" The wolf launched itself at Kurogane, who lifted him arm. It bit into it viciously, but he had enough strength to throw it off himself.

Mokona had reared herself up, her powerful hooves beat down at the wolves with an unusual power. They yelped and leapt out the way, snapping their jaws all the while.

Golden-Oak let out a shriek of fear, pounding his much thinner horse legs at the wolves. The majority began to aim for him and Syaoran, doubtless viewing them as easier prey. The chestnut horse rose high into the air in terror, and in doing so threw Syaoran from his back.

Kurogane leapt off Mokona ordering her to stay with Golden-Oak. He ran past the circle of wolves and stood in front of Syaoran, who was half sitting up on the ground. The boy was breathing heavily; he was injured.

The dark warrior bought out Ginyru and held it out in front of him. The blade sang with the hope of blood and glistened in the moonlight.

For a moment the wolves hesitated. Normally wolves are intelligent creatures, but this night their hunger overtook their senses, and the wolves pounded forward blinding.

Kurogane struck out. The first wolf lost its head.

The men stared at the headless wolf as it slowly fell to the ground. The beheading had been so quick, the body had not responded in time.

A few of the wolves stepped back now, but the others charged again, this time as a pack.

Two leapt either side of Kurogane, biting deep into his arms and disabling him from using his sword. Another jumped onto his chest aiming to tear out his throat.

Syaoran had recovered enough to stand now and his grasped his small dagger (used til now only for cutting bark and fruits) and plunged it into the heart of a wolf who had slipped past Kurogane and onto the boy.

He pushed the wolf off and ran to Kurogane who had now flung one of the wolves off his left arm and grabbed the wolf on his chest by its throat. As he slowly killed it, Syaoran slit the throat of the wolf that was attacking Kurogane's sword arm, freeing the warrior completely.

The wolf fell, and soon after so did the wolf Kurogane had strangled. The surviving wolves ran away, yelping into the night.

Kurogane turned to see the horses were alright. One dead wolf lay at the hooves of Mokona, who had no doubt trampled it to death. Golden-Oak was behind her shivering slightly.

Syaoran went to comfort him, but Kurogane stopped him. "Are you alright? I thought you were injured from the fall?"

"I am a little hurt," was the honest reply, "my leg aches. But I can continue on."

Kurogane nodded and watched the boy continue up to a bashful and apologetic Golden-Oak. Kurogane felt a little guilty for allowing Syaoran come with him into such a dangerous adventure, but then he began to cough viciously and noted that this time, blood had spattered out of him mouth and onto his hands. It was wet and sticky and glistening.

The Redleaf servants were correct, he was dying.

He wiped his hands and gazed at the Ice Castle. They hadn't got long.


	9. Love

The rest of the night was without drama or danger. By first light of a cold white morning, they had finally reached the castle. The horses were both exhausted, so the men left them outside. "Take turns keeping watch," warned Kurogane, "Mokona stay close to Golden-Oak so that he stays warm. If we are not out of this castle by tomorrow morning, both of you must go back to the Golden Forest."

Mokona whinnied in offense but Syaoran said, "do it for Golden-Oak, he cannot stay in these conditions long."

Golden-Oak looked at them with sad brown eyes as if he hated being so weak. Syaoran placed a kiss by his cheek and Kurogane stroked his mane briefly before the men departed from their equine comrades.

The inside of the castle was beautiful. Great symmetrical pillars of ice held up a cathedral-like roof structure. The floor was engraved with patterns which prevented them from slipping. All was completely silent.

The men walked quietly, feeling cowed and awed by the atmosphere.

Then finally, they began to hear a slight noise. They walked towards it, entering a great hall. In the middle of the hall sat a blond man amongst a dozen shards of glass. His bare feet, arms and hands were covered in small, painful cuts.

"Fai?" Kurogane cried out. The boy turned his head and whilst it was Fai's face, his eyes were changed. Instead of blue they were now a pale yellow- like the weak rays of a winter sun.

Kurogane ran to his friend and embrace him. He had to kneel down to do so and he could feel the glass cutting through his clothes and on to his knees. He didn't care. Fai smelt different now, no longer like flowers in summer but instead of clear skies and snow. His body was even thinner than it had been before, Kurogane could feel the other boy's bones. He was also desperately cold despite not shivering.

"Fai, what has happened to you?" he whispered into the smaller boy's shoulder.

Syaoran stood further up. Fai glanced at the boy.

The Poet frowned, he noticed that Fai was not hugging Kurogane back, had yet to say a word, and was now concerned to see that blank-eyed look. Even more disturbing was the thing Fai had been trying, it seemed, to put back together. It looked like a glass statue of a man. The glass man now lay in many pieces all over the floor, a forlorn look on the one half of his shattered face.

Syaoran gulped, feeling that this was not some ordinary statue that had gotten broken. The whole situation was sinister.

"Kurogane," he called, "are you sure that is your old friend?"

Kurogane stood and looked at Fai. "Yes, but he has changed. The witch said he would have, she said he as sick. But she didn't say anything useful about saving him. Fai, can you understand me? Do you remember me? At all?"

Fai continued to look blankly at Kurogane, no recognition or sign that he cared on his features. Kurogane gulped. This had been a lot more painful than he had envisioned. It was as if someone had gripped his heart and was now squeezing it. It was hard to breathe and his chest hurt.

"Fai, please, I am Kurogane. I am your friend. We care about each other. We've known each since we were boys." He placed his hand on Fai's cold and pale face, "please remember me. Say something, please." He bowed his head, unable to look the boy in foreign eyes any longer, "please…please Fai." He continued to beg.

Slowly the strength in his body drained away and he sunk lower. He had travelled for so long and so far but he was too late, his friend was gone.

Anger and frustration and despair all welled up at once.

"I'll do anything," he was barely able to whisper, "I'll do anything. Please come back to me."

Fai still said nothing.

It was in that moment, the darkest of Kurogane's life, that he truly felt loss. It was as if a giant, gaping hole opened beneath him and he fell into it, unable to escape. All hope was gone. And with hope so was happiness and contentment and love.

Syaoran watched the demise of his friend in horror. He felt hatred towards Fai. He wanted to run at him and hit him and scream in his face, "do you not know what this man has done for you? Do you not know how long and hard he has fought and searched? Answer him! Wake up!"

But he didn't. Instead he saw from the corner a woman entering from another room. Her hair was white and upon it was a delicate crown of ice. Her dress was long and pale white with a shimmer of green within it. Her eyes were a pale green. Her face was very similar to Lady Sakura's, round and youthful. However, there was no kindness in her eyes and no cheer in her disposition.

"Kurogane! It is the Snow Queen!"

The warrior rose up to face her. She looked at him, cool and impassive.

"My friend," he muttered hoarsely, "what have you done to him?"

"He is mine now." She said after a long pause. Her voice was quiet and distant, as if being spoken in another room.

"No! He is not yours. He belongs to himself! You've stripped that away from him, and you have no right."

The Queen sneered a little, "you are of no consequence to me. Just some boy from a village, do you really believe you have say hold on what I say or do?"

Kurogane took out his sword and aimed at her in a flash. "Fai is my friend," he growled, "and I will fight to defend him, I don't care if you are a Queen or a god or anything!"

"My winter is already killing you," she said, "you will be dead in a few hours anyway. The journey took too much of a toll and now the winter has finished you."

"Then I will die fighting. It makes no difference. Fai will be free."

At once she sprouted fur and a snout. She grew in girth and size, forming into a great White Polar Bear. The bear roared so loudly that the castle shook, but Kurogane was not afraid. He had been looking death in the eye for some time now.

He began to swing at the bear, wanting to keep her at bay long enough for him to work out a weak spot. However, she was too quick and too heavy. With one swipe of her paw she sent him hurtling into one of the walls. He cried out in pain, blood spattering out of his mouth. He stood, forcing himself to recover.

Syaoran, knowing this was his friend's fight no matter how much he wanted to help, instead ran over to Fai.

"This is your friend," he said breathlessly to the blond, "look how he fights for you."

Fai said nothing but continued to watch without any feeling.

Kurogane wiped the blood from his mouth as the Bear ran towards him, it's feet heavy and loudly. The remains of the statue of the man Fai had been working on was crushed to powder under her heavy charge. Kurogane grit his teeth together and held his sword steady. Se leapt at him just as he fell onto his back. The sword pierced upwards into her chest.

Blood poured down onto him. She roared in agony and rage. He rolled out from under her, but she caught him. She reached out and grabbed his arm in his powerful jaws. He cried out and she bit down, tearing off his arm.

Finally, the two titans fell together.

Syaoran watched in open mouthed horror before coming to his senses and running to Kurogane.

The she-bear was dead, but he was barely alive.

"Take Fai," he muttered, his arm-socket bleeding out, "take him to the witch…save him."

He then coughed up blood before taking his last breath. His last thought was a berating of himself; that he hadn't been able to save Fai completely…that he had failed. But then the lights went off and the world slipped away.

Kurogane's journey had come to an end. He was dead.

Syaoran stood up slowly, breathing heavily.

It took a long time before he could turn away from the pale face of his dead friend to see Fai. But what he saw shocked him again.

Fai had covered his mouth with both hands, and Syaoran had no doubt that he was silently screaming. His eyes were streaming with tears.

Syaoran ran up to him slipping slightly as his boots were covered I blood.

"Fai? Fai? Are you awake?" he looked at the boy and was amazed to see that blue eyes were slowly taking over the old pale yellow.

Syaoran, with effort, pulled Fai's hands away from his mouth. "We need to get you away from here," he rushed, "come, come, Kurogane would not want you to stay here."

"Kurogane!" the boy finally cried out, pushing Syaoran aside and running to his friend. He knelt down in the blood and cradled his friend. "No, Kuro…my Kuro…no…"

Tears fell freely and heavily.

He never knew such suffering; all this time he had been trapped within his own body, unable to do anything of his own free will. He had not been able to resist the call of the Queen, nor had he been able to escape her. When Kurogane had held him all he wanted to do was reach out and touch him, kiss him, tell him how much he loved him and missed him and that he never, ever wanted them to be apart ever again. But all he could do was stare stupidly as the man he loved fell apart.

And now…now, Kurogane was dead and he had died believing that Fai did not love him anymore. It was more than he could bear. Kurogane had lost everything for Fai and Fai hadn't been able to give him anything in return. He was useless… useless!

The Poet bit his lip, trying to decide on the right thing to do, before slowly joining Fai.

"My friend," he said, "I do not wish to give false hope…but Kurogane told me that there is some magic in you. That once you managed to bring a rabbit back to life."

Fai remembered that day. "It wasn't me," he whispered, "I'm not the one who contains magic. It's my Kuro."

Syaoran looked down at the corpse of the warrior in horror. Was there really no hope? He bowed his head, tears beginning to fall as the realisation hit him hard.

Between their tears, neither boy noticed that the Bear was beginning to return to its original human form.

It was only when the Queen took in a breath of life, that Syaoran, and then Fai lifted their heads. Before them was Sakura, only she was a different one from the Lady of the Golden Forest. She seemed younger somehow, and not so ethereal but more like a girl.

She looked down at the dead boy and at the other two weeping.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I am the Lady of Winter. I was just so lonely for so long."

"You look like the Lady Sakura," gasped Syaoran, "the Lady of Autumn!"

The Lady of Winter touched her forehead as if she had a mild headache. "Yes," she murmured, "I think I had a sister once…but something happened…But I don't remember." She lowered her hand and looked at Fai, "I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone. I was just so alone." She turned and looked at the shattered glass of the statue scattered about the room, "and poor Doumeki…oh what have I done?"

Fai stood on shaking legs, "you must fix this! You caused all this misery, you have to fix it!"

The Lady of Winter nodded, "of course, of course I will. It will take all my power, so I shall need to borrow what magic I can. Luckily there is some in you, and in your friend and in the sword. I shall use that with my own to try and fix the situation."

First she walked over the Fai, "I have drained much of your magic," she muttered, placing her hands around his face, "much like I drained all the love from Doumeki. But you have a little left."

"I'm not magical," he responded softly, not understanding her.

"Yes you are," she smiled, "the love that you have for this dark-haired man powers you. You are as magical as he is. But you magic of revival only works when you both merge that magic together. Now I need to borrow some." She leaned forward and kissed his mouth. It was gentle and non-sexual. However when she pulled away, Fai had to sit back down on the floor, feeling like his energy was all spent.

She knelt down and blew on Kurogane's mouth. He took in a deep breath and groaned in pain.

Fai's heart, which had seemed to have stopped, began to beat strongly again. His breathing sped up, "Kuro," he whispered, tears of hope now filling blue eyes, "Kuro!"

"I'm so stupid," The Lady of Winter said, tired bitterness in her soft voice, "such a klutz! I cannot bring back his arm…but…"

She picked up Ginyru and placed it by the arm socket. She whispered some words they could not understand and the sword began to reform itself. It stretched and became broader, twisting into a complicated, metallic version of an arm.

"It's lucky there was magic in here already," she muttered, "or I'd never be able to achieve such a thing."

After the arm was formed, the look of pain lessened on Kurogane's face, though his eyes remained closed. She placed her hand on his chest and a white glow began to appear around her hand. She sunk it into his chest and it was then that dark red eyes opened in shock.

With the look of benevolence on her face, the Lady of Winter moved away, allowing Kurogane to sit up and see the delighted face of Fai.

"You're back to normal?" he asked his friend, immediately noticing his eyes were blue again. Fai laughed in amazement- Kurogane had died and yet his first question was still about Fai! He wrapped his arms around his tall friend gleefully and nuzzled his neck.

"Yes I'm fine, despite the fact that you almost killed me, never do that again Kuro-puppy."

"Kuro-gane!"

Fai laughed again, still clutching Kurogane hard. The dark-haired boy held him close as well, his metal arm working almost as well as a real arm, both men swearing to never let each other go again.

They held each other for a long time, before Syaoran gently touched Kurogane's shoulder, reminding him of the rest of them.

Both he and Fai stood up, their hands locked together- Fai's of flesh and Kurogane's of metal.

"Fai, this is Syaoran, he came from the Golden Forest and is a great man."

Fai smiled and nodded.

Syaoran blushed like a schoolgirl and shook Fai's hand, "I look forward to getting to know you Fai. Your friend here has been on quite a journey to find you."

"Oh," cried Fai, "but your leg, I see it is injured!"

Syaoran looked down, "y-yes…but…it'll be alright."

"No," said the Lady of Winter, "you will become very sick from the wound. You will not make the journey back to the forest."

"The Lady Sakura?" asked Kurogane, only just noticing her, "what are you doing here? Where is the Lady Tomoyo and the Snow Queen?"

"I am the Snow Queen," she replied, "not the Lady Sakura. I am the Lady of Winter. This is all I know. That and that I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused."

Kurogane was incandescent, "sorry? You're sorry! How is that good enough! Do you know what misery you have wrought?"

"Yes," she became quite teary eyed, and instinctively Syaoran stood beside her, "but I am doing my best now."

"She bought you back," said Syaoran quietly, "I think there may have been some sort of curse."

"Well then heal Syaoran," he demanded, "it's our fault he was here and got hurt. Then you will tell us where a man called Doumeki is! You stole him from the Mage of Summer."

Fai bit his lip before glancing at Kurogane, "Doumeki was with me." He said, "but he was turned into a statue a long time ago. All the love and life drained out of him until there was nothing left. He faded away and eventually became glass. Then, just before you all arrived, he smashed on to the floor. I remember trying to piece him back together but it was no good. He was already…" he shook his head, unable to speak anymore.

Kurogane kissed the top of his head before glowering at the Lady of Winter. "You bought me back, bring back Doumeki. The Mage suffers his loss."

She sighed, "I don't have enough magic left in me to both heal your friend's leg and bring back Doumeki. I was barely able to revive you."

"But Kurogane, you and Fai can bring back Doumeki," answered Syaoran happily, "The Lady said that the magic resides in you and Fai. It is love, Kurogane. And when you two are together, it combines your power. That's how you can revive things."

Kurogane frowned. He was still pretty certain that Fai was magical, not him. Fai seemed so different and ethereal and amazing. But he was just boring old Kurogane. It seemed ridiculous that he would possess any special abilities.

Sensing his thoughts, Fai turned and looked Kurogane in the eye. "I love you, Kuro-puppy."

Kurogane blushed and wanted to complain about the pet-name, but couldn't.

"I love you," persisted Fai, "and I know you love me. If that is magic then together we should be able to revive an army!"

He pulled Kurogane over to the shards of glass. In the background, The Lady of Winter began to heal Syaoran's leg.

The two men knelt down and put their hands together, mimicking that day in the summer.

They looked at each other and remembered not only their past, but, for the first time, thought with some clarity of their future together. They imagined their marriage, their home, any children, even any pets they would have.

Kurogane smiled, feeling completely in love and at peace, as he leaned forward and kissed Fai. It was gentle and kind and chaste.

Fai sighed happily, never knowing such joy. As they pulled away he muttered, "and to think, I was just willing to do this after giving you your coffee."

Kurogane suddenly remembered their last day together, back on the ice rink where Fai had made him share that ludicrous hot chocolate with him before offering him a semi-cold coffee.

"I should have just drank it," he said, his voice slightly hoarse, "I shouldn't have complained."

"Hush, don't talk that way. None of this was our fault, not yours, not mine."

"It wasn't mine either, I don't think."

Fai and Kurogane leapt up at the sound of a man's voice beneath them. They looked down and saw that between them, lying on the ground, was the tall, dark-haired Doumeki. He sat up and rubbed his head.

"I was down there alive for some time, I just didn't want to break you both up," he said in a slight monotone. "I was a bit uncomfortable though, and I better get back to Watanuki. He's clumsy and needs someone to help eat his meals."

Fai and Kurogane stared, before Fai began to laugh. Kurogane glanced between them and then allowed a small smile to grace his lips.

They were safe. He had achieved his goal. Doumeki had been found, the Snow Queen stopped and most importantly, Fai, his best friend and love of his life, was alive and well and laughing.

'Your whole life will like this,' he promised Fai mentally, 'you will always be happy with me. I swear it.'

And, because it was Kurogane making this oath, it was exactly how he swore it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment- even if it is criticism. I got little feedback from this story on the other site, so I'd love to hear people's thoughts.


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